Making A Change... Maybe

Hey All,

So April has been a mega shitty month for me. So here we are, still feeling a bit meh, but life goes on.  I've given myself a bit of a kick up backside, fitness wise. I've always been the fat one or the bigger friend, I've always been bullied for my weight. Yeah at first it hurt but by Year 5 or 6 I had heard it all, so when it came to secondary school I just ignored it and because I ignored it and had confidence and I didn't react it soon stopped. I've always had thick skin and had confidence so not many things 'bullying wise' bothered me that much. But that didn't stop my own demons.

I always do this go on a hype and then come of the wagon within a week or 2 but this time seems to be different. I think its because mentally I haven't said oh yeah tomorrow going on a diet or tomorrow I'm going to do some sort of work out, or I'm going to cut out chocolate, carbs blah blah blah.  I literally woke up one day and thought I'm going to do something about it. Now that might sound crazy and like no one can really do that, but it seems to be working for me. Someone once said to me there is not point trying unless you really want it. Nothing will happen until you are ready.

I started by one night doing a fitness DVD in my room, but I didn't like doing that because I don't have much room. But it gave me the motivation to find something else. A few years ago I found something called Couch to 5k on podcasts via the NHS website. Again it was another one of my failed attempts to get fit. I came across that again. When it comes to finding these things I am very self conscious, especially running. In a gym I'm fine I zone out in my music but I don't want to pay the price for a gym (I know cheap skate or what), but this one is where ever you want to go on your run. I wanted somewhere a bit secluded where no one could see me. Luckily for me my partner had been doing it as well. Near his house is a wooded path that not a lot of people use so it was perfect. I did two runs well attempted runs, I admit after the first one I felt defeated like this wasn't for me, I had failed but I thought no I'm not going to quit at the first hurdle. We went for the second run and I did a bit better not much but a bit. Through finding this I thought well whats point in doing this if I'm not going to change my eating habits. Don't get me wrong I still have things if I want them. For example tonight I've still been drinking (responsibly of course) and had a bit of chocolate but I've changed what I have for dinner. Just introducing little changes one by one instead of what I have done in the past and that is changing everything at once and being overwhelmed by it all.

Yesterday I got up didn't really want to do a run because I was just unmotivated but as soon as I got changed and into my joggers and t-shirt I was fine. The app goes in weeks so there is week 1-week 9. I am currently on week 1 and this consists of a 5 minute brisk walk for a warm up, then running for 60 seconds then a 90 second brisk walk and you repeat this 8 times, so in total you run for 8 minutes. It doesn't sound a lot but when you're unfit you gotta start from somewhere. So far so good. Not to blow my own trumpet or nothing but I actually did it, I've never been able to complete the full thing but I did. And I'm bloody proud and its motivated me to carry on.

The trick is now to keep it up. They recommend a days rest in between runs so today is rest day and tomorrow is back to running day!. Lets see if I stick to it!

Until Next Time X

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